Cilld Anorexia

I have been noticing in the past few weeks that my children are picking at their food. They have come to me a few times to tell me that they are not hungry. They want to throw out their food or give it to the dogs. I tell them "No." They proceed to sit down at the table, stare at their plate, and start to cry. The fork is continuously stirring. Moving the food around on their plate.

It is a good thing that there is evidence of their snacking between meals. Dirty dishes are laying in the sink or on the counter by the sink. Milk is left out on the counter. (Which my husband hates. so I try to get it put away before he gets home.) Crumbs have been crushed into the rug in front of the T.V. (My pet peeve.) They end up cleaning up that mess. Without these assurances, I might begin to worry about them being sick or upset.

I was watching a movie on Lifetime last month. It was about a fourteen year old girl who was anorexic. My oldest daughter is quickly approaching her teenage years. The parents in this movie were frantic and worried about their daughter's rapid weight loss.

The parents were suffering along with their daughter. The marriage relationship was strained with fights and blame. Family and friends were blocked out and even ignored. Careers were in jeoperdy due to all the missed time at work due to appointments. Little attentions was paid to job duties. The parents' minds were on their daughter's problem.

This week, I took some time to go on the internet and check out some sites on child anorexia. There were numerous sites. A lot of information was available to look at. There were a few things that terrified me.

One of the sites I went to was www.Ramundaranch.com. It stated that children as young as six years old were suffering from and being treated for anorexia. I thought influences from other children was a main cause of child anorexia. At six years old a child is only in kindergarten or first grade. They have only just begun school. I t is difficult to imagine the stress that can be affecting a six year old.

This site also stated that child anorexia is caused by the child's emotions not interest, or lack of interest, in food. Family dysfunction is a major cause . Children tend to stop eating to gain attention they feel they need. The parents often respond to the child, thus prolonging the problem.

Stress from friends and school is another leading cause of children not eating. Bullying, mimicking others, or too much pressure to preform correctly affect the child. They feel that too much is expected of them. I feel that the amount of homework assigned can be too much. Often, parents want their kids in sports and clubs. I know I rush my kids a lot to finish homework, so we can get to other activities at night. One or two nights a week is OK. Activities every night is too exhausting and causes stress.

The death of a loved one can cause a child to stop eating. They lose interest in food. Saddness, lonliness, and anger win over eating. Children do not know where to go for support. They learn to cope by not eating. I wish that some parents would pay more attention to their kid's needs and not be so engrossed in themselves. Catching a problem before it starts seems to be easier than dealing with a problem that has gone on too long.


Another site that I found that gave me important information was www.ehow.com. This site gives tips on what a parent can do if their child has anorexia. The first tip was to be there for your child. I try to be there for my daughters. Everyday I always take the time to ask them how their day was. I always get, "OK ". Do not stop there. I also ask what they did in a certain class or at recess. They open up and say more than "Yes," "No," and "OK>" Keep the conversation flowing and you will learn many things about you children. As I wrote before, do not think that your child is too young.

Spend quality time with you family. Bring your family together. Spend the day at the park, go for a walk, or go see a movie. You will find out your children's likes and dislikes. (Hopefully!) Talking will reduce stress and pressure that builds in every person. Not only your child, but also in you.

The website also states that parents should go to support groups. You are not the only parent having troubles. Do not be embarrassed to get help. Hiding a problem does not solve it. The kids deserve parents who support them and know how to help.

Just ask for advice. I do not see signs of difficulty in my daughters , yet. I need to be prepared because child anorexia can begin at any time. These websites are available to help at any time. Now is the time to be informed; before your six year old child becomes a statistic.

Apology

My daughters are old enough to participate in activities. Youth sports and after school clubs are abundant. We have tried soccor, cheerleading, youth groups, tutoring, and K-Kids( a club). Time is always an issue.

Autumn and Kaylyn, I am sorry I don't spend the amount of time with you that you deserve. The time I spend on other activities should not affect our "together" time. I need to put in more effort to listen to you. What you have to say and what you want to do is important.

"They say"

I was looking at sites this week to see what other people had to say. I came across Supernanny.
Looking through the information, I came across a site about car seats. It stated that the NHTSA says that children under 4 feet 9 inches should be in booster seats. Age wise that is around 8 years old. By focusing on safety, the NHTSA is overlooking the deeper problem of children wanting to be in charge themselves.

My children are 9 and 12 years old. They would not be caught in a booster seat. For one thing, they would feel too restrained. My oldest likes to control the radio. Being able to reach it is a must. I also ask her for help reading signs and checking traffic when I am driving. She needs to be able to move to do this.

My children are also of the age where friends opinions are important. They feel that other kids would laugh at them or tease them if they were seen in a booster seat. I agree. Safety of my children is important to me. However, I don't feel that I need to tie them up.

I have rules in the car. Wear seatbelts, no laying down, no eating, and sit still. If the rules are not being followed, I stop until everything is OK.

I am not saying booster seats are bad. I just feel that at a certain age, kids are going to stop obeying and refuse to cooperate. Each child has a mind of their own and will behave as they feel fit.

I grew up in a two parent household. Between my two older sisters and I, there were always situations happening in the house. My parents pushed respect,self discipline, and the difference between right and wrong.
I got pregnant during the middle of my senior year in high school. I had only known my boyfriend, now my husband, for five months. To say the least my parents were not pleased with me or my decisions. Their guidence had evaporated into thin air.
My senior year of high school was spent preparing for a baby, planning a wedding, going to school, and working full time for health insurance benefits. I went to scool in the morning, and worked the three-eleven shift at night as a CNA to get in my fourty hours a week to keep my coverage. It was exausting, but I grew up fast.
My husband and I were married one week after I graduated from high school. I never had a graduation party; I had a baby shower. Thank goodness I had the support of family and friends. However, even they didn't believe my husband and I would survive in marrage. They made bets on how long we would last. The longest was seven months. We fooled them! It has been over twelve years that we've been married.
Two months after marrige, my oldest daughter was born. Things were not always easy. My husband's family and my family helped a lot. They gave advice, babysat, and bought a fair share of diapers, clothes, and formula.
Two years later, I got pregnant again. I was twenty years old. We were still young parents with a lot to learn. Three months into the pregnancy, I miscarried. I went through emotional hell. Once again my family was there for stability.
My husband and I got pregnant again right away. Two months after the miscarrage I was pregnant again. I still wasn't twenty-one. I had already experienced more than I should have at my age. My twenty-first birthday was spent with me six months pregnant. Some people may say it was wrong, but I did have a drink. My youngest daughter was born three months later.
Today my daughters are twelve and nine years old. They are teaching me a lot. Meanwhile, I am trying to teach them the same values my parents tried to instill in me. I'm not always right, and at times I know I am incorrect. In this blog I plan to share my siuations, andmy solutions with you. I hope you will respond to me and tell me how you feel. Feel free to offer me advice. The learning process never ends.